A Story I Wrote Because I Was Bored

[ReyMysterio]

A Story I Wrote Because I was Bored

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Once upon a time I wrote a story because I was bored. It talked about stuff nobody cared about. Now, on with the story.
One day Farmer John was plowing his field. Then, all of sudden...............


Tune in next time for continuing and exciting adventures
of A Story I Wrote Because I was Bored.

[astro]

i cant really say anything intill you put more stuff in it

[ReyMysterio]

A Story I Wrote Because I was Bored Part 2

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Then, the notorious evil villain, Big Evil Monster Creature jumped into the story.

"Grrr." said the monster. "Roar. Grunt."

Farmer John looked up and saw a butterfly.

"Hi, butterfly," he said.

The butterfly exploded into...A BRAND NEW CAR!!!

YES FOLKS! I SAID A BRAND NEW CAR! THE NEW FORD EXPENDABLE SERIES F!

YESSIR! ONLY 1.5 MILES TO A GALLON! AND VERY AFFORADABLE! ONLY 5000 PAYMENTS OF 99.95

Farmer John went to take a spin in his new car. While he drove, he saw...an old lady trying to cross the street.

He would have noticed her and gone around her, but his favorite show, Dora the Explorer, was on.

"Man, I sure love that Boots!" he exclaimed, as the old lady bounced off the hood.

So Farmer John arrived at the Supermarket.

Farmer John saw a carton of milk. Farmer John picked up the carton of milk. Pick it up, Farmer John, pick it up!

Next, he took it to the counter.

Anyway, he bought the milk.

BUTTTT... (hee, hee! I said butttt....)

IT WAS EXPIRED!!!

"Well, I could just return it, and get another carton."

Except...HE DIDN'T HAVE A RECEIPT!!!

Will he find the receipt? What shall happen to our hero? And what happened to the monster that appeared early in this post?

Find out next time in A Story I Wrote Because I Was Bored...PART 3!!!

(Oooo...very original.)

[Nick]

xD Funnyness read my story its randomness.

[astro]

good 9/5 out off 10

[ReyMysterio]

A Story I Wrote Because I Was Bored Part 3

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P.S. I especially like blueberry muffins.

After singlehandedly vanquishing a horde of 144,000 trained mercenaries from the Perfume Department, Farmer John...

Find out next time...(I'm just kidding)

Anyway, Farmer John was enjoying a new episode of Dora the Explorer, happily munching on some fresh baked cookies.

"Watch out!" he screamed at the television. "Swiper's trying to get you!"

Dora and Boots turned around, and saw Swiper heading towards them, and so they yelled, "Swiper, no swiping! Swiper, no swiping! Swiper, no swiping!"

Seeing that he was sadly defeated, the evil fox answered, "Aw, man!" and scurried off.

"Phew!" remarked an exasperated Farmer John, "I was sure that he was going to succeed this time."

Suddenly, the telephone rang. Farmer John emerged from his snug reclining chair and walked to it. He picked it up.

A cold voice uttered: "YOU WILL DIE IN SEVEN DAYS!!!"

"I told you before!" he screamed angrily. "I don't want what your selling!"

With great speed did he slam the phone upon the receiver.

"The nerve of some people!" he added with his hands on his hips.

Farmer John strode to his closet to get his trusty plow, and opened the door. But it didn't contain farming tools. Instead, it showed a magical land of rolling hills and the sky was clear as glass.

"Hey," he said to himself. "I uttered a simile!"

Anyway, on the wide, open fields grazed purple unicorns and rainbow colored cows. In the air, fish flew above the horizon as birds swam beneath the depths of the nearby river. A rainbow took up most of the great expanse and white, fluffy clouds dotted the sky.

Farmer John looked upon this world of dreams and fantasies, and he knew what to say about this.

"Man, what an ugly place!" he remarked with disgust. "Who would want to live in a world like that?!?"

He grabbed his plow, closed the door, and walked outside.

Farmer John walked to his field, but then a thought came into his head.

"How do you use a plow again?" thought he. Then came another thought into his mind.

"Of course! To unclog the sink! Boy, I sure am a genius!"

But then a flying saucer appeared out of nowhere. It hovered over his rundown shanty and released a gamma ray beam that reduced the establishment into ashes and dust.

"Durn real estate." the farmer muttered to himself. As he dwelled on his newfound bad luck, he found himself being lifted off the ground. It was obvious to our main character what was happening.

"Finally," he said in joy, "I can fly! Whoosh!"

Farmer John floated in the air for a few seconds, before he entered the unidentified flying saucer.

When he entered the spacecraft, he found himself in a room of gooey green aliens.

"Greetings mortal of the third rock," calmly spoke one of them in a nasal-ey voice, "We are Martians."

Farmer John said, "Martians? I could have sworn you were Democrats."

After a brief laughter, the farmer asked, "So why am I here?"

A Martian raised one hand to silence them (you can infer that this is the leader), and answered, "Well, we would like to see what the inside of a human looks like and do some experiments and tests and stuff. It will be fun."

Farmer John pondered upon this. After he pondered upon this, he said, "That does sound like fun! Can I help? Huh? Can I? Please? Please? Please?"

"Well..." started the leader. "Yes...because YOU ARE THE VICTIM!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! QUICK! TIE HIM UP!!! TOOLS! WE NEED TOOLS! LOTS OF THEM!!! MWAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!!"

"Well, that doesn't sound good," replied the victim.

As the aliens left, he saw an door that read:

EXIT! THIS WAY TO FREEDOM!

"Hmmm..." Farmer John thought, "I don't know..."

A green speckled platypus waddled along the floor. He stopped in front of him, screamed "The quick fox jumped over the lazy dog!", and slapped him across the face with his beaver tail.

"Aha!" the farmer dramatically exclaimed, "My mind tells me to use the exit door. Oh yeah. That's good. That's good."

He flung off the poorly tied ropes that imprisoned him and sprinted toward the exit.

"Well it seems everything worked out in the end."

So the door flung open and Farmer John jettisoned himself out.

He drifted about in the deep vacuum of space. He clutched his throat, gasping for breathable oxygen.

He was heading toward imminent asphyxiation.

Is there hope for Farmer John? Will he live to see another day? Is this story the high quality everyone is looking for

Prepare yourself for the conclusion to this four-part saga entitled "A Story I Wrote Because I Was Bored: The Conclusion To This Four-Part Saga"

(Do I come up with unique titles or what?)

[ProtomanΩ]

10/10. ;D

[astro]

10/10

[ReyMysterio]

Thanks.

[Milpire¦µ¦¸¦²¦·]

...
10/10 definitely, I LOVE the randomness, it's almost as random as the Bobo-bobobo-bobo show on Toonami

[ReyMysterio]

I'm not tring to make it like that I hate that show.

[Nick]

You hate bobobo! WHO CAN RESIST ITS FUNNY RANDOMNESS?!?! This is better then most storys on blue octane. There mostly about normal trainers and pokemon XD.

[ReyMysterio]

I just made it because i was bored that's why I named it A Story I Wrote Because I Was Bored.

[ProtomanΩ]

if you like good stories on blueoctaane and you like runescape, try this one: blueoctane.com/showthread.php?t=2127 now, before you read this, this is nothing of my own. this belongs to Kenta147 100% and it is all his.

[joeluga10]

way way way way funny and offcourse RANDOM 10/10

[ReyMysterio]

A Story I Wrote Because I Was Bored: The Conclusion To This Four-Part Saga

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Once in every generation...there comes a great epic, a true example of literary masterpiece, that so greatly captures the heart and the mind and captivates the imagination of the human spirit.

As of right now...we're still waiting for it...


NOTE: The following attempt to make a decent installment does indeed have some Biblical material within it. For those who practice a faith other than Christianity, are devout members of the ACLU, are Liberal Democrats, or those who are tremendously offended by anything mildly religious, viewer discretion is advised. And for those looking for a decent story, viewer discretion is advised.

The desert sun shone with an evil glare upon the lifeless desert. A crowd of onlookers stand upon the side of a river, as if they were waiting for something to happen.

Out of nowhere, a man clothed in ragged skins tread across the hot sand. His hair was long and oily. In one hand, he carried a staff. Locust shells were stuck between his teeth.

He entered the lukewarm water of the river. The crowd stood amazed for he had no remorse upon getting his clothes soaked.

Suddenly, he uttered amongst them: "Hear ye O mortals of the earth: The salvation of the world is come to us!"

Along with the pathetic and worthless men and women who were there were a group called the Pharisees.

They confronted the disgusting looking man and asked him: "Who are you to speak with authority? Are you the Messiah?"

"Nay," cooly answered the disgusting looking man.

"Then, art thou not Elijah? Or Moses? Pat Robertson?"

The prosecuted said, "I am neither. I baptize with water but the one who is after me (though, also before me, in a paradoxical like fashion) shall baptize you with the Spirit."

"All right, wise guy," shouted the Pharisees, "Then who are you?!?"

The man lifted his arms toward the sky and yelled aloud: "I am a voice calling in the Wilderness saying 'PREPARE YE THE WAY OF THE LORD!!!'"

Farmer John scratched his back with a crowbar as he reclined in his chair.

"That's the last time I roll around in poison ivy leaves," he moaned in his distress.

Suddenly, he heard a rumble outside. So he stepped outside.

Before him stood an entire legion of heavily armed ninjas.

"We have come to fight you!" the samurai exclaimed, his lips out of sync with his poorly accented talking.

Farmer John moved his mouth but nothing came out. After his lips stopped moving, he said, "Well, prepare yourself for you shall be vanquished!"

After some pretty cliche movements from both sides, they all barrelled towards each other into attack. It seemed all was lost for our main character.

"CUT!" yelled out the director, "That's a wrap."

Crew members scurried onto the set to dismantle the props. The ninjas took off their masks and walked off to their dressing rooms. A person working on the set accidentally released a spotlight from his hands and it smashed three people into a pulp.

Farmer John became confused and yelled, "What's going on here?"

The director took a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped his sweaty forehead.

"We're done with this whole thing," he said. "This doggie never did well in the box office. It was just as successful as Omen III: The Final Conflict. The writers ran out of ideas and are lying on the ground unconscious in a drunken stupor. Plus, we kind of went over the budget with that Biblical scene and now have been closed down. Apparently, everyone wants that superhero with the many hats that make him sweaty, which I hear is better than this pathetic heap of trash. Besides, I'm starving. Who wants pizza?"

"YUM!" shouted everyone on set and they all left through the exit. The janitor came in to mop up the floor.

Farmer John looked onward in silence. Finally, he said, "All well!"

So he hopped upon his trusty steed and, with a simple thrust of the bridle, rode off into the setting sun, the score from the Indiana Jones trilogy blaring loudly as the closing credits scrolled down the screen.
"Well, look on the bright side," our hero mused to himself. "There's nobody that can stop me from making more sequels!"

A lightning bolt skewered through the air and struck him, reducing him to ashes and dust.

A gentle breeze carried the remains off into the wild blue yonder.


THE END*

*Signed Richard M. Nixon

[Itachi Uchiha]

thats as funny as a joke I made 10/10 + 50

[Milpire¦µ¦¸¦²¦·]

......
lol

[destinyx]

Haha, I LOVE it.
Nice randomality.

[ReyMysterio]

I'm getting ready to write another one.

[sonneh]

D00D DAT STPORY OIZ SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GEI!!!!

[ReyMysterio]

And you are soooooooo banned!

[darkmasterpugz]

lol,thats a story i never get tired of....

[ReyMysterio]

A Story I Wrote Because I Was Bored- The Tenth Installment
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It was a dark time for the city. The people cowered before the awesome might of the Clown Armada. Their huge spaceships blotted out the sky, giving off a false night. Everywhere streamed alpha rays, beta rays, gamma rays, delta rays, epsilon rays, and the outfielders of the Tampa Bay Devil Rays. The great skyscrapers of mighty steel toppled like dominoes lined up in a row. Cars and trucks flew in the air, our wondrous inventions turned guided missiles.

Abruptly, there was silence. An eerie calm hung abroad. The spaceships landed upon the mall, crushing it under its immense weight. ("There goes that sale at Penney's," they moaned.)

The doors slowly swung open. A bright light was emitted from within. The townspeople covered their sensitive pupils from the light, and after making sure that those students were covered, covered their own eyes, not knowing what would befall them.

A gigantic shoe emerged. The hideous silhouette marched forward. The clown surveyed his prey and smiled a sinister smile. Oh, how he knew what he would do with them.

"LET'S DANCE!!!" he shouted and all the clowns ran outside handing out balloons and candy. Confetti was being shot into the air. And all the people stepped into their dancing shoes and had a grand ol' time. A disco ball had even been lowered to meet the people's needs.

While they were shaking what their momma gave them, the first of the confetti began to land on them. A man looked at his arms and they began to melt away.

"AHHH!!!" the man screamed, "MY ARMS ARE BEGINNING TO MELT AWAY!!!"

The people realized this evil plan and started to run, sprinting in every direction, but to no avail. They were doomed, yet their humanness wanted to deny it, to believe that they could escape. They were dwelling on a false hope.

The clowns rejoiced in their apparent victory. The sceptre had been given to them, the torch passed, and it was clear to them that the dominion of the earth was in their grasp...

But that has nothing to do with our story. Let us now transition this story to Farmer John.

Farmer John was battling the great Yoda (From Star Wars) in a lightsaber battle. Dodging left and right, Master Yoda evaded each futile blow.

"Improved you are," he said, "But no match are you!"

"I've been practicing," Farmer John said.

They continued their fighting, their blades constantly meeting each other.

Suddenly, Farmer John tripped and fell upon his back. He looked up and saw the wrinkled old Jedi get ready for the finishing blow. All was lost.

"Sir, would you like to make your order. You're holding up the line."

Farmer John looked around. He was in line at Burger King.

"Sir," the fat cashier said. "What do you want?"

"Well," Farmer John said, still unfamiliar with his surroundings, "I would like...a Happy Meal!"

The cashier lowered her glasses and stared at him.

"Sir, we don't sell Happy Meals here."

Farmer John looked back at her.

"Oh, do you, eh?"

He grabbed her by the collar.

"Ma'am, I asked you for a Happy Meal. Doesn't your motto say: "Have it your way"? Aren't I entitled to a Happy Meal, if I want one? So then, are we clear?"

"Yes, sir," she said. "I think we can work something out."

Farmer John flew through the window and landed out on the sidewalk.

"I never knew she had such a strong left jab," he said to himself.

Dusting off the shards of glass, he went out in search of a place to eat. While looking, Farmer John noticed something out of the corner of his eye. It was a gold cup, gleaming with the light of the divine. It was a cup touched by the lips of the Begotten Son of God. But how would he use this holy artifact. Immortality? Power? Women?

"Nah," Farmer John said. "I'm selling this on e-Bay!"

He went back home and auctioned it. Some guy from Wisconsin was the highest bidder, willing to pay $1.98.

"SOLD!" Farmer John yelled and gladly accepted, realizing not that he had sold the Holy Grail for a $1.98.

So Farmer John now had enough money for something from the McDonald's Dollar Menu.

Farmer John checked the mail and saw an envelope.

"You just may have won $100,000!" it read.

"Junk," Farmer John thought to himself, tossing out the letter which inside read: YOU ARE A WINNER!

Farmer John noticed a second letter. He opened it.

"You have been drafted into the United States Army."

[kkepa]

id say your story is 9 out of 10

[ReyMysterio]

A Story I Wrote Because I Was Bored- The Tenth Installment (Continued) (PG)
_______________________________________________________________________________

The harsh Iraqi sand blew across the barren wasteland. The temperature was past the century mark.

Farmer John strode forward with his trusty AK-47, sweating immensely.

"Why do I suddenly feel like Forrest Gump when he was in Vietnam?" he pondered to himself.

"We make barbecue shrimp, fried shrimp, broiled shrimp, shrimp casserole, shrimp ****tail, shrimp pasta, shrimp salad, shrimp sandwiches, and that's about it," Bubba droned on.

His company had just made it to Iraq, serving in the Second Gulf War. They were preparing to attack a company of Al Qaeda terrorists stationed in Baghdad.

Suddenly, gunfire crackled.

"Hit the deck!" the general shouted and the rest did likewise. "Don't give them any sign that we're here!"

But Farmer John was still standing, waving at them.

"Hey, guys!" he shouted. "We're not hiding over here!"

The general pulled him by the leg and knocked him to the ground.

"BOY!" he angrily yelled. "YOU TRYIN' TO GET US KILLED!!!"

"Now, now!" Farmer John said. "Turn that frown upside down."

The general pushed him aside and fired back, shooting down a couple of militants.

Farmer John turned to a fellow soldier next to him and whispered, "I wonder what his problem is."

A spider crawled out of the lifeless skeleton.

"Must be the silent type," thought our main character.

The fighting raged on. The company took many casualites, still barely holding on. Farmer John was busy looking at a bug.

"Hello, Mr. Bug! Will you be my pal!"

A foot came down and ended the life of the fragile insect.

"I lose more friends that way," Farmer John mused.

He looked up and saw a tall Arab right in front of him.

"Regis Philbin?"

WHACK! Blood gushed from the back of Farmer John's head.

"Aw, Regis," he giggled. "Always the violent type."

Thence he drifted out of consciousness.

Farmer John woke up with a throbbing headache.

"UGH!" Farmer John ughed. "That's the last time I drink a martini, shaken not stirred."

A militant poked him with a machine gun and shouted him in Arabic.

"Am I on a Spanish game show?" Farmer John asked. "Wow! I've always wanted to be on one! Hey! Where's those hot chicks with the skimpy outfits at?"

The militant became even angrier and slapped him across the face.

"SHUT UP!" one of them shouted. "DO YOU WANT US TO KILL YOU???"

"Well, not really," Farmer John answered. "But I would like some pizza."

"SHUT UP!!!"

"Geez. Somebody needs to take some anger management classes."

A silent figure rose from his chair. He beckoned the ninja looking jihadists to back away. He had on his head a huge white turban and a white beard. Farmer John knew he had seen this guy before.

"I know you! You're Tom Cruise!"

The man frowned. "Osama bin Laden?"

Farmer John scratched his head. "Are you sure you weren't on Mission: Impossible 3?"

"Never mind that," bin Laden said. "You are the enemy and God says we should destroy you."

"Strange. My pastor says that you are the enemy and God says to destroy you."

"We would like to ask about what do you know. If you don't cooperate, we'll be forced to resort to more violent means."

"Well, glad you asked. I'm willing to show you what I know."

Farmer John pulled out a balloon and made a dog.

Osama shot the dog with a handgun.

"Okay..." Farmer John pulled out some cards. "Anyone up for poker?"

Osama shot through the cards.

"Ummm...I know my timestables! 1X1=1. 1x2=2. 1x3=3. 1x4=..."

Osama grabbed him by the collar.

"TALK!!!" he shouted.

"I gotta pee," Farmer John responded.

"NOW???"

Farmer John nodded.

"All right," Osama said. "But only for a minute!"

Farmer John went into the bathroom. The toilet was covered in filth and rats ran across the floor.

"I'm guessing these people don't watch HGTV."

Farmer John tinkled, constantly missing. Afterwards, Farmer John pulled out his cellphone.

"You know what to do?" he said in a commanding voice.

"I'm on it," the receiver said. He closed the phone, looked both ways, grabbed a box, and ran off.

Farmer John came out of the door.

"I'm done!" Farmer John rejoiced.

"Good. Good," Osama said. "Now will you talk?"

"Hey, I just realized something!" Farmer John said. "Osama. Your momma. Stomata."

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that! So, spill the beans!"

"Okay!" Farmer John pulled out a can of baked beans and spilled it on the floor.

"NO! Spit it all out!"

Farmer John spat.

"No! Whisper it into my ear."

"It into my ear," Farmer John whispered.

"NO! Let the cat out of the bag!"

Farmer John opened a paper bag and a kitten wriggled out of it.

"NO! NO! Give me the poop!"

Farmer John handed him some poop.

"NO! NO! NO! Just tell me!"

"Tell you what?"

"Tell me what your government is planning?"

Farmer John thought for a while.

"Oh, they're not planning anything."

Osama froze. "Nothing?"

Farmer John nodded. "Absolutely nothing."

Osama twitched. It was apparent he was suffering a mental breakdown.

"ARRRGH!!!!!!" he shouted and pulled out a machine gun. "I'M GOING TO BLAST YOUR BRAINS OUT!!!!"

Ding-dong

Osama faced the door with a surprised look.

"Since when did we have a doorbell?" he asked his fellow minions.

They just shrugged.

Osama walked to the door and opened it.

"Pizza delivery?"

Osama turned to Farmer John.

"What?" he said. "I ordered a pizza. Who did you think I was calling?"

The pizza man came in followed by the press and the national guard.

"WTF? HOW DID YOU GUYS FIND US???"

"Well," Farmer John said. "I was throwing a pizza party."

Osama stared at him as the national guard placed handcuffs on him.

Everyone walked out of the building except for Farmer John.

He licked his lips as he prepared to eat his pizza.

Farmer John frowned.

"ANCHOVIES? THEY PUT ANCHOVIES? YOU FOOLS!!! YOU SCREWED IT ALL UP! CURSE YOU!!! CURSE YOU ALL!!!"

Will Farmer John ever get the right ingredients in his pizza?

Find out in the finale of "A Story I Wrote Because I Was Bored" entitled: "A Story I Wrote Because I Was Bored...The Finale!!!

[kkepa]

how do u think of these storys?

[Itachi Uchiha]

well not by cheating but by simply thinking.

[Nick]

O.O AWESOMENESS AND FUNNYNESS AND RANDOMNESS 1000/1000

[kkepa]

ya i liked that one really good 10/10